"Yes, I Was Indeed Transported to Another World,
...Who I am, or what I am doesn't exactly matter too much.
To be honest, even my previous past life's death doesn't even have that much meaning either,
or else I would have been reincarnated into a world that has men with missing teeth
threatening to stab me with needles in it or something like that.
No, my last death I don't see has anything to do with the current situation I am in.
But I can give a little bit of insight of what I was doing just before it was over, to only perhaps give some background.
I was just living each day from one day to the next, without a real goal or plan in sight anymore.
I just began to live everyday just living in the moment,
and I was fine with that. After the start of the new year,
I had realized by my age that it was too late for me to really get into something and pay also for a living,
so why not live just enjoying the little things that life had to offer?
I just was never suited out for competition,
and that's probably something that's just part of my core personality.
At the time, that was the best choice I could make to survive and not go crazy and perish myself
within the society I was surviving in.
I do used to remember thinking about how, if only I had been born as a human far,
far more advanced in the future than the time period I was in,
then things would probably had been a lot more different for me and other people's living standards and quality of life.
But for that previous life, simply I was just born into a time when things just
weren't advanced enough related to human society and work-life balance, and what can you really even do about that?
Anyways, that's all in the past. And I can never go back to that life,
or even want to experience it again. What's done is done.
What's amazing though, is that in this present incarnation,
I can still remember my past life...
so far! But when I was in my past incarnation, I couldn't really remember any other past lives,
except for fragments in my dreams, but I never
connected the two,
and how could I have when humans from that period don't even understand fully what dreams are.
I must have had many, many lives now that I think about it.
Maybe sometime in the future, I will be able to start remembering more and more incarnations
as if one consciencious instead of separated and fragmented memories between different personas.
As for what I am now, is something that doesn't even seem real but from everything I can gather and understand
so far that I have been conscious of my existence,
is that this is in fact reality;
I have been reincarnated inside of one of the games I used to play when I was a kid!
...Which is, to say the least, seemingly impossible or hard to understand,
because like most people from that time period, I didn't even know or understand the concept
that I could be even reincarnated into a literal video game.
In my past life, in that reality, it was common knowledge that video games
weren't technically real, in that they were just things created by people for entertainment,
and that the objects
within those screens did not have any sentience;
not even that of a single-celled organism to compare to.
They weren't tangible places, only fictionous.
There was a clear distinction between reality and non-reality (well for most, but for some there really wasn't)
Even to me, this changes everything now that I had previously have thought would be possible.
If I try to imagine other's reactions to this scenario, it would be similar to how I started processing my situation;
"Wow, I'm in one of the video games I really liked! This is so much better than the daily grind of mundane normal life!"
But things start to fall apart, or perhaps into place,
when the realization hits that you don't even get to be the main character,
or your own individual person, but rather, you're the low-class forgettable enemy among many just like you.
It also starts to hit when I realize that I don't even really have control over
anything that I can do."
The absense of time.
There may or may not be someone other than myself here,
but in the slight chance that there is someone out there reading,
or listening, or transcribing this information that is in my mind, and who is outside of my present
reality as a passive observer, I might as well go into more details
of my current existence anyways, since there is not much to do as it is in this state at the
moment. It is also good to curve off
the imminent creeping of insanity, in any case.
To recap over to the uninitiated or those popping in just now,
I have unfortunately been seemingly reincarnated as a mere octopus-like enemy from a television
video game I played when I was younger. Even now the name is starting to escape me,
as my past life is slipping by my memory into dust particles of nothingness.
The unfortunate part I remember was that I wasn't
someone who stood out or did anything noteworthy of being remembered by my species,
so there will never be record of me
and my memories of that time. I just did things like enjoying myself with games, and that really wasn't too
important to anybody else.
Anyways, the game itself did involve ape-like creatures who had traits more of human than
, and very good music that I would leave on to just to listen to that.
I'm not sure where to even properly start, so I will note things on a go-by
basis so I can myself get more
grounded in my situation, otherwise I might start decaying into some-form
of insanity as previously said.
I really will have to just have hope there is someone other than me who is
able to interpret these words however
they are able; that I am not truly alone in here. There I go already. Okay.
Pretend that this is an interview, or a documentary and will be consumed by many other minded individuals.
Comparing my current self to my past life experience,
I could only see from what was called first-person view,
as in I could only see from my eyes on my face directly, except when I was sleeping and had dreams,
but that's something else entirely on its own
In this reality, however, I know that I AM the octopus-like enemy,
but I am not seeing directly from its point of view.
I'm looking at this as how I did when I would play the game, via a screen. But in this case the screen doesn't move, the
perspective doesn't change,
and I just watch myself going 'round and 'round in my same directory pattern, never
course. Some would argue,
myself as well, how this could even be considered as
myself as this sprite since I am not seeing out of it nor can I control it,
but like seeing a door open
on it's own, you just instintively know what is and what it is, and question
it all you might you know it is what is true inside.
The "very good" music I mentioned earlier is playing on repeat; the instrumental
music has an airy feel to it,
an ethereal smoothness in its transgressions. You could tell the music
was made to be used for its
purpose of showcasing through sound a watery, mythical and slightly somber world.
Despite how good this one track is, I am truthfully a bit scared that since
it hasn't stopped at all yet,
that it may drive me eventually closer to....not liking it.
I'm going to be an optomistic for a quickie that at LEAST it wasn't the music from the first stage that was the jungle.
It's not that that's a bad song by any stretch of the imagination,
but with how upbeat it was and its musical progression throughout as I am
trying to recall as much as possible,
I would get tired of it much faster than this much more calming song.
If someone asked me what song I could only play for the rest of my life on
my listening device in my past life, then it would be this naturally anyways.
Of course, I haven't been around for that long here I can imagine, so who knows what may happen?
Maybe I will be able to eventually gain control over my form and go to other
communicate with someone else -someone I can actually see.
The thought that I am somewhat losing my old memories
steadily means that I'm still connected to the past world and have to
properly transgression into this one completely.
It's like how human babies were born out of the womb before their brains fully formed,
because if they had to wait until then they wouldn't have been able to be born on account
of being too big to naturally get out. Maybe its like that for me too,
and that I will be okay with this alien and so-far dull existence as a sprite of an octopus-like thing.
It could be that soon I won't even identify my being as an octopus, since I won't know what an octopus is.
I'm okay with that.
Am I okay with that.
The only thing so far that I can remember not remembering, ironically is the name of this place and game.
I can't remember names and titles, that's it. I know what music this is for
instance, but I don't know the title. I'll confess now that it's not so much that I don't remember,
I do, but I'm kind of scared to think aloud these things in their proper titles. Not in an in-danger sort of scared,
but more like my mental process is actively trying to block this information to me on the surface level for some reason.
Am I trying to protect myself by knowing less, and gradually,
to knowing nothing? It may be. It may be the monotomy getting to me; this static state of being, the same song,
the same movements, the same visual cues on repeat...
But things may change, so I don't know anything much yet until I gain more
information in my surroundings and on watch for any sort of abnormal change, no matter how slight it is.
That's a dilemna I'm presented with, is the absense of time as
I know it and have been physically and mentally used to it being there.
Recording Time was something that was used as a tool to an
extent to understanding the world around me,
and how to go about things and so that life could process. Days.
Days of the Week.
Months, Years, and Centuries and Eons (those last two didn't really matter to me personally).
I had felt many instances where time was against me, as all humans have felt (who know what time is), but now I miss it.
I miss using it as a tool and foundation in my stability,
something I couldn't think about until it disappeared.
But wait; it's not that time entirely has vanished from my perception, has it.
No. Just being able to in a physical way see and record time with the use of clocks and the
changing between light and dark in the surroundings.
Just because Recording Time, as I am used to,
isn't available, doesn't mean I can't use time still to my own use.
This seemingly eternal music, for example,
even though it repeats over and over again, I can tell roughly where by concentrating on it
where the music does end as the composer intended to end it and where it starts again in a smooth loop.
It's not as obvious because of its ambivalent composition as to that of the jungle level's
more distinct progressions, but I can pin-point out the end all the same.
And that is how I'll be measuring the progress of time.
The best that I can at the moment for now. It's almost lucky that I haven't gotten
much to distract me, besides myself and my stream of thoughts. Though there is that lingering expectation of
something that may happen almost constantly, it's a good type of anxiety,
but still is keeping my hopes up, and also keeping me on edge about the possibilities of the unknown.
So I'll have to balance these two out, and have keeping track of time as a priority for now.
There it is, there's the part where the loud melody
starts to dwindle and evaporate into the sound of mellow hammering. A-1....1 A.R.
After Recording. The first loop since recording, but not from the time of my awareness of consciousness here.
Later at some point I can maybe roughly estimate the difference between the two.
I can't close my eyes, but counting as I was taught in school the seconds,
the loop of the song would correlate to being as long as 3 minutes, give or take.
It seems a bit tough to constantly keep track of, but I can try my best is all there is to it.
I'll have to restart the counting again because I've been focusing
on how long the song was. 24 hours made up a day...so I just will have to do the math.
3 minutes, check, 01. counter: 01. End loop.
Start loop. da-di-da-da....
twinkle twinkle. sparkle sparkle.
da-na-naaaa----. 3 minutes, end loop, check, 02. Counter: 02
Start loop. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doooo ---...doodoodoodoo. There's a rising up in there somewhere.
twinkle sparkle. DA-NA-NAAAAA.
DA NAA-NA-na-na-naaaanana~~. 3 minutes, end loop, check, 03. Counter: 03.
Is God there? Is anybody there? Is there anyone who can give me an answer besides myself? end loop,
check, 04. Counter: 04.
No, I just have to focus and do only this counting until 24 hours has gone by,
then I will see if anything has changed.
At least if nothing has passed, at least I can now that a normal 24 hour period has gone by.
end loop. check 05 counter 05.
...chapter 1 end.
Yeah, I don't even get the ability or pleasure to be able to sleep.
Now that's something else right there. Funny how I once upon a time I had wished
I didn't have to sleep, so I could keep doing the things
I wanted to instead of wasting my time sleeping. Like this game that I'm in now.
I saw it as wasting my life away. Sleeping that is.
Insofar I don't have the tiredness at all of staying up for probably 18 hours straight.
Octopus-like images that are made up of programming code and pixels, that shouldn't even have
any form of consciousness of any kind, they don't need sleep. That's me, and its cursed, but also useful.
I'm only tired not due to energy usage but due to being fully aware at all times and not being
able to turn off my thought processes.
Guess I got my random thoughtless wish granted.
I tried to keep up with my counting of the sound loops,
but my mind just couldn't do that for that long, and with no end really
in sight despite having a goal to count up to 24 hours, I couldn't help my mind
wandering about other things and scenarios and what-ifs.
Concentrating so hard on this music and nothing else, made me feeling like something was snapping in my
synapses, even though I don't know exactly where those are located right now,
and so I'm actually tuning out the music. Again, probably my conscious mind taking over trying to protect
me once more from the pain and strain of repetition.
Now here comes a creeping little thought, but just due to the fact that I do exist like this now,
within this game, does that mean this whole time, all these games I would play,
the enemies and characters,
really did all have their own consciousness? Like me,
trapped in sequence and nothing to do except wait for the player character to come by and
kill them or they try to kill the player? What is
interesting is that I haven't seen the Player yet. I could be in someone's cartridge or rom file,
alive in a sense in "real-time" and possibly have them come along once they start playing? Of course
I can't seem to communicate yet in a verbal way outside of my inner consciousness, but maybe I can if the
opportunity arises when another consciousness lifeform appears?
If there is someonething that is shaping the laws of this universe, then its kind of sick to
have me be awake while the person who owns this game isn't even playing.
Why not spare me some suffering, small as it may be, and just have me unconscious while the game is off.
Unless the game is on right now, then that could mean that the player character just isn't here yet...
There are so many probables and not a concrete answer yet for me.
I'm still not trying to think of this as a hell, well there it goes, but if anyone thinks their life is hell,
then let's switch realities, okay? It would be nice if I could know at least why I'm being punished in this way,
but then again we're dealing with a Royal Asshole of Energy Matter here. I'm going to file a complaint I swear.
Usually sleep would give me a form of escape, and then I would feel somewhat refreshed upon waking,
but having also that taken from me, well, it kind of sucks to be always able
to think, to have POWER ON constantly. I've given up on using
Recorded Time for now for a bit, but I can maybe try to simulate sleep in some way.
It's not has hard as tracking time, because this I can try to melt away or
doze off. Could call it meditation. Though I can't close my eyes, wherever they are.
It really doesn't matter. Yeah, see, even though I don't sleep like others,
the mind can't always be going 100%, so there are lulls where
I just kind of "blank" out
that's sort of like sleep. A bootleg version of sleep. But it's better than nothing. I'm feeling a bit better now,
although the random thought has slipped its way in thinking about how if only I could try to think of
another song I know, but can't think of any when there's always
this constant score pervading those areas of thought.
I'll stop hating on the music for now and going to make the
best of my situation, and think of the good times that included this world.
When I was a kid, I didn't just play video games, as in get to one goal to the next,
I pretend-lived in them as well; something I ended up forgetting to do even though I kept playing
games into my adulthood.
In those early years I didn't get to play that many games,
since they were quite expensive or whatever reason,
so even while had finished a game or was in the process of beating it I would let my imagination run loose and live
as if I were the character inside of the TV screen. Just had to make the most out of what you owned, plus
being a kid naturally you had always exercised your imagination without
thinking about it. Adult life ended up boring me down, so I became more dull over-time.
When you have nothing going on in your life, then you start reliving your past memories.
I don't feel bad about doing that now because it's something I can preoccupy
myself with. No one could blame me if they were in my situation.
I don't even know yet if I can experience sensational, outter pain yet.
Even that would be something amazing. Eating food. The pleasure of eating and experiencing food not out of hunger
but just because it feels good. Or those times I truly was so hungry,
that a 1.50 cheeseburger felt like the most intense sensation I've ever had. I would literally
blow a hole in my brain with a nail gun if I was able to eat a cheeseburger again.
Don't know how that would work now, but I am relishing in this fantasy.
Maybe thinking too much about the past isn't good, afterall.
Can drive one crazy.
But when you try to not think of anything, the past just shows up anyways on a regular basis.
Sometimes things that I thought I would never think of again,
that had no real important to me,
somehow surfaces once more out of nowhere.
Like just now, as I was thinking up of this last string of words,
a thought emerging from the darkness on the sides sprung forth,
about the time I was learning about Icarus and flying towards the sun in school.
Was he even a real person, well no,
because people couldn't fly back in those times.
The point of learning about this story was the lesson and metaphors to be learned, and not so important
that Icarus was real or not. I again have no idea why Icarus has risen from the dusty
trail to stand before me, but even people who never existed tend to feel
like they truly did exist, or how normal people would worship these figures
of imagination in their own right. Icarus wants to be real to me
right now in this predicament of a hellhole and wasteland of void.
Maybe thinking too much about the past isn't good afterall,
even when it has nothing to really do with me.
Can drive one crazy, if I'm not crazy enough already as it is. I know as a
fact you can never reach a limit of "too-crazy", however. Now that's scary.
Well if I can't think about the past in too much at once,
and the present sucks and the future is completely unknown and inconceviable,
then WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? FUCK ITS HIM, ITS THAT.
WAAAIIIT. NO DON'T STOP.
HEY CAN YOU HEAR ME.
MOVE MOVE IN A CIRCLE IF YES. HAHA YES, YES.
...chapter 2 end.